A Place of Sunsets

About the poem…

From Ana: This poem flowed out of me while sat upon a beach in Malaysia, just as the sun set across the glistening waters of The South China Sea. It was this tiny cove set aside a headland, the only access route being from a secluded fishing village, wherefrom they took you by a small motor boat across the star blanketed seas that glimmered with plankton, otherwise known as, ‘Noctiluca’, meaning sea-sparkle. I arrived at night with a good friend, she has been dead to this earth plane for a few years now, and I remember fondly that we sat, laughed, dissected life and talked like old friends, as new friends sometimes do, enjoying this slither of the heavens blanketing us for a few days. In hammocks I laid and swung, in the seas I dodged jellyfish galore, and at night, I ate noodles and drank beer (only one for me, never loved the morning after).

Anyway, after 18 months of subtractions, of energetic outbursts and past life coming out of me in tears, painful flashbacks, unhealthy numbing habits, or just plain old and very necessary isolation, I wrote, A Place of Sunsets, foolishly believing that the work was done, that the hard stuff was expelled from within me already… Little did I actually know, little did I comprehend, for the journey within was only just warming up to itself, and I was in training for harsher storms yet to come… But the moments of respite, the sunshine and glory of a good day, were enough to provide hope for the future, hope that eventually, my life, with glimmers of goodness and happiness and beauty, would become that in entirety, not only for a day or two here and there. And here I now sit, faithfully confirming that the journey inwards will never be easy, but it will always, always, always, be worth the energy, time, and love for yourself that it takes.

Time is your blessing along the road home to love, gift yourself with a little patience and the road will bless you for it. There can be no turning away from hard truths and your pain, no running, just deliberate inquiry, curious intrigue, and a whole bucket load of compassionate acceptance and self love as you move through and release all that keeps you caged in a half life. More magic than you ever dreamed can be found in a moment of peace and quiet, especially when your insides mirror that state with ease – going to nature can reveal how clogged up and ‘full of noise’ you still are. Finding yourself emptier is the mission here, but it will demand that you face yourself, and the more you look into yourself the darker things might become, that’s just how it works, which is why the Self-Help Library may become your crutch for a time – healthier crutches bring you through, unhealthy ones can be dangerous, remember that when you face things. Always feel ready and never rush ahead before you are being called upon to do the work.

With Love,

Ana Maria.